Journey to Freedom

Winter Whimsy

2011-01-31T13:03:00.000-08:00

I have rejoiced in the delicious weather over the course of the past week. Why does it seem that these moments of warmth precede a renew vigor of winter's long embrace?

In the days leading up to this looming storm (a blizzard warning? Really??) I have enjoyed an afternoon playing disc golf (my first game ever, and coming in at +33 on 10 holes, I think you professionals should be _very_ afraid) and another meandering and shooting on the archery trails at Ritter Springs. I had a pic-nic with Patrick, a park visit with Nanette, and enjoyed my downtown area on foot. I wore t-shirts and rolled the windows down. I sipped coffee on the back porch in the sun. I began dreaming of river trails, floating destinations, and campsite location choices.

Now, however, there is constant buzz of chatter and almost giddy speculation surrounding me from people knowingly relating information about storm warnings, protecting pipes, stocking up on supplies, and prepping for possible power outages. There are tales of the last ice storm, folks who are flippant and confident no storm will come, others who are spouting dire predictions, and a select few who are feeling joyful about a return to winter revelry. I find myself feeling both a little concerned at what might happen with another ice storm induced power outage (we are now living in an all electric home rather than a farmstead with wood heat and propane!) and bummed about the loss of gorgeous sunny days that offered all the enticements of a lovely spring.

Since Patrick is well on his way to a new semester overseas, it seems somehow fitting to settle into the house for a few days of winter weather lock-down. Perhaps it is needful that we have time to savor our family bonds, re-evaluate our goals for winter, and relax into the protection offered by modern comforts like filtered water and central heat. So, after work I am off to pick up a few supplies before we make dinner together, fill the containers with back-up water, and break out the extra blankets, flashlights, candles, and lighters. Board games, art supplies, and bookshelves, here we come!

Home is Where I Lay My Paintbrush

2011-01-10T09:29:00.000-08:00

Not long ago I was writing about my move to Cedar Lane. Most of you know that four months after moveing there, I made another, unexpected, move back into the downtown Springfield area. It has been an interesting period! In fact, I have written and deleted several potential posts in the past month simply because there was so much turmoil and change going on on from day to day that I was never sure which things I really wanted to convey.

*Whew!*

Now I am beginning to feel settled in our new home and sorting out what my life may look like in 2011. There is a new job on the horizon, plenty of art taking place in the new studio space, and a budding business doing freelance writing and editing. The girls are loving the new space as well, and have set some new goals of their own.

As I was painting the other night, I realized that despite the upheavals of the past year, we are all thriving and getting really clear on what it is we wish to create as a part of our life experience. My home is my smile, my kind heart, my creative and passionate approach to life: my house is really only a vessel to hold the evidence of who I am (the place I lay my paintbrush) and a safe place to rest my body as my spirit dreams and soars.

For the rest of this contemplative winter season I plan to listen to those deep murmerings of my inner muse, savor the friends and family who make my life life feel rich and opulent, and allow my new vision to unfold. And, for a few more weeks, to laugh and love and adventure with Patrick before he jumps aboard a new ship in February.

I wish you all a cheerful start to a new year: the best one yet!

Autumn Reverie

2010-10-23T10:47:00.000-07:00

Here at Cedar Lane, the ever shifting colors of autumn, the constant flutter of leaves gliding down, and the scent of burning leaf litter and branches are companions as we work around the property. We re-located the fire-pit to the back stretch of yard, to better view the moon rising as we enjoy the company of excellent friends and the occasional drum circle. We are nearly finished with converting the caretaker's house from a messy, abandoned storage area into a beautiful creative space for Bliss Studios. The pool has been officially closed, and the plants and bulbs which need shelter for the winter months have found new homes inside the house.

Even on the career front things are shifting into a new routine. Sherri and I finished Live Your Intentions last week, sent out the book proposal to our favorite publishing companies shortly thereafter, and celebrated the wonderful news that our Huffington Post article was accepted. Now, we are settling into the pleasant and busy work of writing articles and growing our fan base and marketing plan. We know big changes are ahead, as we begin teaching workshops, traveling to promote and share our vision, and hopefully, establish a partnership with one of our publishers of choice. We are preparing to appear on Unity FM in December, and participating in a number of marketing affiliate partnerships in the coming weeks before our official book launch date of December 10th.

More positive, but transformational news came this past weekend when my daughter returned home from a long stay with her father. As she settles back into our family routine, it feels as of life here, as busy as it seems, is winding down for the last dance of fall and the slow curve of winter.

Perhaps I am a little sentimental, but while I watch my girls play outside, enjoying a gorgeous afternoon, i am aware that there are storm clouds building, and from my place at the window, every minute feels like a moment waiting to be savored; a last glimpse of green, tinged with pumpkin scented treasure, before the holiday rush and cold, steel gray of winter skies begin to edge in.

So, coffee in hand, I am going to wander out to my favorite bench, let the leaves drift down like so many vibrant blessings, and take a few deep breaths as I contemplate the content for another article and send autumn infused thoughts across the ocean to the heart of a man I won't see again until winter has a full grip on the Ozarks and these fall nostalgias are a distant memory.

Writer's Bliss

2010-10-07T12:36:00.000-07:00

As I sit here in my room at Cedar Lane, editing and writing ACTfirmations for Live Your Intentions, I realized that I can think of no place I'd rather be than right here, in this moment, doing exactly what I am doing. I like to think I have learned to cultivate these experiences, but to be honest, it has been a very difficult week. One of those collections of days, circumstances, and states of mind that left me doubting everything, down to the very core of my being. And yet, as stormy chaos always seems to prepare the way for deep peace and powerful change in my life, I find myself more sure of myself, more certain about my talents, and with greater clarity and vision for the future than I have had for a long time.

So, I will drink my steamy Yerbe Mate, tapping away the autumn afternoon on my humble laptop, smiling my grateful awareness to the water fountain gurgling gracefully in the corner and the squirrels at play in the treetops outside my window. I can't say what tomorrow holds; who, if anyone, will take interest our book; or how the next few months will unfold to ease the current sensation of fiscal crisis. I can, however, breathe deep right here, right now, and savor the joy of creativity and the certainty that somehow, doing what I am passionate about will call forth it's own reward!

Namaste :)

Journey to Cedar Lane

2010-08-30T12:12:00.000-07:00

Imagine a curving, paved, private drive lined with mature Cedar trees. At the foot of the hill, a circle drive leads you to a two-story, stone house; the two-car, stone garage; a small caretaker's studio; and back up around the tree lined lane.

Standing on the sidewalk in front of the house, you can look to your right and see a broken stone wall, an area where a fountain and gardens at one time dwelled, and a path that leads to a charming (and wee bit creepy) spring house. Further on there is an outdoor BBQ oven and large stone table fit for banqueting (or sacrificing virgins, lol!) There is a lovely, fresh spring flowing out of the rocky hillside, and gathering in a moss-filled pool before trickling down the property in the expanse between the firepit-focused gathering area (next the house) and the wooded spring path.

If you look to your left instead, you will be graced with a view of the 10 ft swimming pool and surrounding patio and walkways, lovingly re-landscaped by my friend Robin and her tireless mother. Behind the house, there is a huge yard filled with grassy hills and mature trees, which fade into the woods and hillside in the distance. A perfect space for hammocks, archery practice, or meandering meditation.

The house itself, while outdated and in need of continued TLC, is sturdy and in good repair. Full of charming space, the views from the dining room and bedrooms are breathtaking, and the overall feel here is of deep roots, safe haven, and peace.

I moved into Cedar Lane a few weeks ago, taking the universe up on a unique opportunity to room with a good friend in this lovely, magical place. Every morning I wake grateful and amazed that this is my home. I have never felt more centered in any physical place other than the Buffalo River valley.

You will hear me speak about transformation on a regular basis. It seems like the theme for my life has been a radical variety of transformation, and indeed, looking back, every few years my life has shifted to become a nearly unrecognizable (typically vastly improved) version of it's previous self. Though the changes are good, they can be exhausting. While I love knowing that whatever challenges and opportunities come my way I am willing and able to meet them, I find myself becoming aware that growth can be gentle, and seeking graceful shifts rather than world shattering change.

It is time to sink into the healing space offered by Cedar Lane and get to know the brave and expansive woman I have become over the past many moons. I feel ready to examine my goals, dreams, and vision for the future. This move to Cedar Lane marks a new beginning for me, and I cherish the love, power, peace, and potential for vibrant life that I am experiencing as Summer smiles her warm greeting at Autumn's colorful entrance.

River Song

2010-08-03T13:49:00.000-07:00

From the time I was very young I drew comfort and inspiration from the rivers and woods of the Ozarks region of NW Arkansas and SW Missouri. One of my earliest memories is of a particular float trip with my parents on the Buffalo river. Caught in a swift current, the canoe flipped and my father caught me, mid-river, as the canoe and my mother careened off downstream. Making a swift decision, he tossed me to shore, where a stranger caught me, then half-swam half-surrendered so the current could sweep him out to rescue first my mom then the wayward canoe. It was an exercise in trust which may still be a profound part of who I am today and my willingness to assume the best of people (i.e. my father who did not let us drown and that stranger who tenderly cared for me rather than perpetrating all the lewd and evil acts my mother had warned me of when it came to strangers.)

From that time forward, the Buffalo River, and beautiful lands and tributaries surounding her, were a source of entertainment, education, solace, and adventure. During difficult times I would often disappear for hours at a time to my favorite limb, which looped out and suspended me halfway between the sky and the creek below. I would gather unique rocks in pockets and bows of trees. I would grind the soft ones into poweder for various colored "paint." I would 'track' animals through the woods, climb bluffs, explore quartz crystal encrusted caverns, and imagine what it would be like to survive out there on my own.

It was not always rainbows and butterflies. I encountered critters on occasion, including a skunk from which I escaped but my dog did not (leaving her banned for several days to the wood shed,) and a bear which gave me little more than a curious glance then ambled on it's way leaving me quaking and in awe. I also found myself atop a crumbling stone wall which collapsed and left me inches away from a fall to almost ceratin death. But the river herself sang a song my young heart knew how to answer and even though I scarce recognized it at the time, she helped to shape and mold my curiosity, creativity, and courage in ways I would need often on the challenging path ahead.

Somewhere in my teen/early adult years I lost touch with the magic of life, including those childhood safehavens. For numerous reasons, the years began to slip by with only occasional, brief time spent outdoors anywhere other than the park or zoo; no camping, hiking, canoeing, or spelunking. I feel some regret at not having shared these experiences with my children when they were younger, but I am comforted to know that they are beginning to develop their own relationship with the river, even now.

In 2008, my family began to change dramatically. Divorce, children moving in new directions, and all the changes that came with learning to be independant forced me to evaluate what the important elements of my life are and what the shape of my future was going to be. One of the changes I needed to make was to recover my connection with the river, the land, and my own deep roots. Another was to begin traveling to the places I have long ached to see, many of which contain natural splendor all their own.

I dived in by taking a trip to Moab, Utah to hike with Daniel Nahmod (an incredible new thought musician) during his "Water" retreat (mildly ironic in the desert...but the canyons were, of course, carved by water and thus inspired some incredible songs about surrender among other topics.) A few months later I took a road trip to St. Louis with my son and his girlfriend for a concert (and the birthing of brilliant comic strip about hobo zombies, which Braden will be writing, um...any day now. I'm certain of it.) Add to that a wild, five state tour which landed me in places like the quirky, artsy Yellow Springs, OH; a Blues Festival on the river where my 5 year old daughter revealed her spooky ability to channel Janis Joplin while dancing; and yielded my first visit to the fabulous establishment that is Trader Joes (cue divine chorus.)

I also began to canoe, hike, and camp again...usually along the Buffalo river. She remembered me, of course, and we began to exchange things: my tears and stories for her soothing embrace and clarity inducing energy. My labor (picking up trash, assisting people along the way) for her offerings of unique stones and artistic inspiration. My blood and sweat for heart palipatating views, healing breezes, and the re-discovery of my amazing strength. My life song for her acient one.

Now, having become reacquainted during these healing visits, I plan to continue not only exploring the trails and rapids of my home river, but to trace and discover the beauty and adventure offered (by extraordinary places near and far) to those of us willing to take chances, brave challenges, listen deeply, and sweat whenever necessary. The reward? Peace. Joy. Fresh air. Nice calves.

Surprised my Dr. with 23 lbs lost :)

2009-12-24T08:34:00.001-08:00

I am back home from my surgical adventure! All is well so far, and if it continues to go that way, I will begin round two as planned. It feels good to be reclaiming my body and my health...powerful. I am already scoping out the best hikes(both locally and around the Buffalo River) to begin adding into my calendar for late winter early spring ;-) Easy to moderate at first. Any suggestions?

I did want to say that my Dr was surprised and congratulatory about my weight loss (23 lbs officially on their records.) She did not ask how, but since my surgical check up is in six weeks (about the time I will be finishing R2) I suspect there will be questions forthcoming!

I hope you are all having an incredibly delightful holiday week!

Blessings,
Angela

Clean Eating and Cardio!

2009-11-29T20:06:00.001-08:00

OK, so I got a little carried away with the traveling and holiday fare (my mother's oh-so-lovingly prepared turkey and noodles, to be exact!) I have not had a weight fluctuation, but I can say for certain that at least twice this weekend I ignored my body's signals and now I feel groggy and a bit out of sync. My buddy is feeling much the same way, so we are planning a correction day and a return to a very clean menu for a few days. The really good news is, we are about ready to begin adding cardio back in for a few weeks and perhaps a good, gentle yoga. I miss the regular movement of my body, and I feel ready to connect to the new shape I am experiencing...before it shrinks again in January, lol!

I will be heading into surgery on the 22nd, so things will slow down again after that while I take a relaxing sojourn of healing. It is my intention, if I am feeling ready, to begin loading for R2 on Dec 31st. Here's to a peaceful and healing holiday season!

Cruising through P3

2009-11-21T12:18:00.000-08:00

Nothing new to report :) We are both still experiencing some weight fluctuation within range of acceptability. I'm looking forward to expanding the menu again in P4, and especially to beginning round 2 at the end of December.

My buddy calls round 1 the chopping phase, R2 the chiseling phase, R3 the sanding phase, and R4 (if needed) the polishing stage, lol. I think it is an apt analogy!

Happy Thanksgiving week!

Inches Update

2009-11-15T11:21:00.000-08:00

So, we finally had time to measure this morning, and our final set of P2 stats included a 4 inch loss for me and 5.75 inches for my buddy (27 total for me, 33.25 total for her!) Awesome.

P3 is going well. I feel a bit heavy eating regular meals after such a simple and clean 40 days, and am finding it hard to get in my proper amount of calories...a good problem I suppose, lol. I'll keep up the good fight and let you know how stabilization goes. I was pretty close to my 2 lb upper limit this morning, so tomorrow may be a correction day.

I'm still loving those compliments!

Blessings,
Angela

P3 is here!

2009-11-13T06:15:00.000-08:00

I enjoyed breakfast today, and am sipping pumpkin spice coffee...heavenly! My final official weight: 194. Yes, folks: 25 lbs down in 35 (instead of 40) days. I am good with it, lol. My buddy ended at 186, putting her at 23 lbs down. We still have to measure today to give you the final inch stats, but I doubt we'll be disappointed, lol.

I have to say, I was worried that it would be difficult to contine the VLCD once injections stopped on Tuesday...but my fears were unfounded. Neither of us has experienced and hunger. It was not hard to eat breakfast today (I was ready for eggs, lol) but there was no great hunger, even 72 hours after stopping the hcg ;-)

Happy Friday! I'll keep you posted ;-)

Cutting it short!

2009-11-10T06:56:00.000-08:00

Much to our confusion, my hCG buddy and discovered that we were running quite low on our injection mixture a couple of days ago. With only a few days left, we decided it is better to end a few days early than to remix another batch and risk having it lose it's potency before R2 (beginning Dec 31st.)

Therefore, today was our final injection, putting us 72 hours away from P3 (phase 3, maintenance begins: 3 weeks of no sugars/starch, but otherwise normal caloric intake.) During this time we must remain in a very strict window of 2lbs above and below our last hCG weigh in. There are measures in place to assist us with this (steak days and various modifications of the same.) The really great news is that while our bodies are stabalizing and restoring/resculpting muscle tone, we should continue to lose inches ;-)

I'll log in with our official end of R2 stats tomorrow or Thursday!

There she goes!

2009-11-08T00:05:00.000-08:00

I am happy to report that I am down another 2.2 lbs in the last few days, putting me at 23 lbs in 30 VLCD's :-) Only 8 injection days left, and 10 days until P3! My friends has finally broken her stall and lost just over a lb last night...I look forward to seeing her morning weigh in! I lost 2.75 inches this week, and she lost 2. Here comes our final week!

I just got in from a late movie with my son and roomie, so it's off to bed for me! (Love Happens...MUCH better than I would have guessed for a romantic comedy, BTW.) I wanted to stop in and give you an update and apologize for keeping you waiting, lol. I'm making it a priority to do a little better this week ;-) Want a picture? Sure you do. This is me enjoying a cup of Yerbe Mate after Art Walk on Friday :) Tired, but happy.

Fellow hCG Blog

2009-11-05T07:21:00.000-08:00

A link to a fellow hGCer, Colin Watson's blog:

http://hcgdietrevealed.blogspot.com/2009/11/are-hcg-orders-being-stopped-by-us.html

Enjoy!

Another Day, Another Pound!

2009-11-04T12:15:00.000-08:00

Today is VLCD # 27 and I am down another lb today. My friend had a slight gain. We have 11 more injection days to go, 13 more VLCD days (there is a 72 hour period of releasing the remaining hCG from your system, during which the low calorie diet must be maintained.)

I have been researching P3 (the first 3 weeks of our 6 week stabilization period) today, and am beginning to get excited about the new menu possibilities coming our way. Essentially, a no starch/sugar plan. Here is a nice summary page:

http://www.hcginfoonline.com/maintenance%20phase.htm

And a fantastic recipe thread:

http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/lowcarb-recipe-help-suggestions/

First on my list: Pumpkin Toffee Coffee. I have a new recipe that has been brewing in my head and luckily, it's the perfect time of year for it!

Happy Wednesday everyone :) OH! And for those of you following on FB, you can access the original blog here @ Blogger.com by hitting the read original post link at the bottom of the note. It is much easier to read and follow if you do (especially if you want to read my earlier blogs!)

I have ARRIVED!

2009-11-03T05:48:00.000-08:00

Officially in ONEderland this morning! I lost 1.2 lbs, putting me at 199.6 on VLCD # 26 *Happy Dance!*

My friend is down another lb as well, putting her at 190.6! That is a running total of 20.2 lbs and 25.5 inches for her, and 19.8 lbs and 18.25 inches for me in LESS than one month: 26 days. WOW.

Everyday is a new adventure: clothes fitting differently from the last time we wore them, new contours and muscle definition and bones, and a slightly different face in the mirror each morning. We have two weeks left, and though we are looking forward to P3 and P4 menu expansion, we are more excited than ever to see where the inches fall off in this last stretch. I am wondering if I can make size 10 for the holidays :)

Happy Tuesday, everyone!

Breaking 200?

2009-11-01T12:34:00.000-08:00

I am heading out of town today, and won't be able to weigh in tomorrow morning. A shame since I hit 200.8 this morning and am thrilled to see if I break that 200 lb barrier and head into ONEderland! I'll let you know Tuesday morning ;-)

My friend woke up this morning to a 4lb loss, breaking her stall and bringing her to a lovely 191.6!

VLCD #24, 16 day to go...Life is good! Thanks for stopping by!

Happy Inch Day

2009-10-30T15:46:00.000-07:00

Just dropping in to give the results of our week three measurements!

I lost another 2.5 inches, and my friend lost another 7 inches :-) We are at 18 lbs lost and 15 lbs lost on VLCD #22.

Not bad. It has been a tough week, lol. I am finally finished with TOM, and ready for week four. I have read a lot about the terrible week three, where you get sick of your food, have stalls in losses as your body adjusts, often encountering TOM (if you, like me, start hcg just after your cycle ends) and psychologically reach that place where you decide whether to stop at a short 23 day round, or hold out for 40. So, yes...now I understand, lol. I am no less excited than when I began, but am ready for a fresh and fantastic week four! AND dreaming of P3 and it's expanded menu. Not that I can complain really...tonight is curried chicken and spinach soup. Yum!

We are definitely holding out for 40 days and hoping for our original 30-35 lb goal =-) See you soon!

Steady as she goes!

2009-10-29T05:51:00.000-07:00

Today is VLCD# 21 and I am down to 201.6, for a total of 18 lbs so far ;-) It has been a happy October! My friend is holding at 195, but still seems to be losing inches. There is a corrective measure called and Apple Day, I will research that just in case. Friday evening is "Inch Day" or the happy day we measure our inch loss.

My size 12's are fitting comfortably now, and I am feeling hopes of getting into a size 10 by the time this round is over.

Happy almost Halloween everyone. I have a busy weekend planned, but I promise to stop in and update our stats a time or two.

Only 2 more lbs to ONEderland!

2009-10-27T11:17:00.000-07:00

The beautiful place where the number on the scale begins with a ONE! It has been an amazing weekend, and I am still in shock over my successes so far. I knew it was going to great, but to feel this good while changing this fast...awesome. Life is good, and getting better every day!

Today is VLCD# 19, and I am down 17 lbs to 202.6, while my buddy is up .2 today, but looking amazing as she shrinks out of her clothes, so who cares about the brief stall, lol!

The good news is, we are half-way to P3, and the rebalancing phase (which will last three weeks.) Then P4 (phase 4) for another 3 weeks. The beginning of round 2 will be near the first of January, so any of you who want to join me for round two can plan ahead!

Happy Tuesday everyone!

18 vs 12

2009-10-25T12:51:00.001-07:00

The new pics are the first in each set (no necklace ;-)

From size 18 to size 12 in 16 days

2009-10-25T12:24:00.000-07:00

I promised I'd let you know how the shopping went, and there it is. I kept trying on pants, thinking...it's a fluke. But no, my instincts were right, and I am comfortably wearing size 12 now, though they are snug. I'm guessing that they'll be perfect by next week and loose soon after that, lol! I cried a couple of tears in the privacy of my dressing room. Freedom.

I had a fabulous time at my friend Robin's 40th b-day bash, and I even danced...with no alcohol induction! It has been a long time since I felt comfortable enough in my own skin to dance...it felt really amazing!

Today's stats for VLCD# 17: down .2 lbs to 203.8 for me, and down 1.6 lbs to 195 for my hcg buddy. Happy Sunday everyone!

Happy Saturday :)

2009-10-24T07:33:00.001-07:00

VCLD #16, and I am down another 2.6 lbs today! My friend is down 3.4 lbs!!! That means 15.4 lbs and 16.25 inches lost in 16 days for me. 15.4 POUNDS and 16.25 INCHES in 16 DAYS!

And for my hCG buddy: 14.8 POUNDS and 18.5 INCHES in the same 16 days!!!!

What more can I say folks?

I am off to the thrift store for pants that will stay on. I only have one pair now!

Happy weekend everyone!

UNbelievable!

2009-10-23T17:12:00.001-07:00

Today is VLCD # 15 and I am down .2 lbs (not bad for TOM.) However, since it is my measure day, I feel compelled to say that I have lost ANOTHER 9, yes 9, inches! That is a total of 16.25 inches of FAT gone in 2 weeks. My friend lost 9.5 inches, for a total of 18.5! UnFREAKINGbelievable!

My size 16's are hanging off of me. I can not be certain, but I suspect I may fit into a size 12 now. I am going to thrift store shopping tomorrow (no reason to spend big bucks on pants I'll only be able to wear briefly, right? LOL!) I will be certain to let you know.

WOO HOO! Happy Friday people. I have to say, I needed this today. I went to the divorce attorney w/ Ivan today to begin the official proceedings. Even if it is right, and necessary, it is still undeniably sad. However, between the tape measure and my great friends who are taking me out to a movie tonight, I am feeling loved and supported. And perhaps just a touch sexy ;-)

Loving the compliments!

2009-10-22T10:41:00.000-07:00

I wish I could say that I can see a fabulous loss when I look in the mirror, but not really much so far...though I DID notice my neck looked longer yesterday, and I can shadows of shifting in my face. However, I am getting complements nearly every day now...so I feel certain that it shows.

I CAN feel the weight coming off, and am stunned each and every day to realize my close fit differently every time I get dressed. I am loving this! Tomorrow is our second day for measuring, so I look forward to posting those for you.

Down to business: today VLCD# 14 and I have lost 12.8 lbs. My friend had a stall/gain, but is back to her lowest weight today, putting her at 12 lbs gone exactly. *Happy Dance* No complaints here! My appetite is wonderfully non-existent, making following the plan simple and avoiding indulgences much easier. I have begun to dig a little deeper to vary the menu, which is a bit narrow for me since I don't like seafood and have found that beef causes stalling for me. I can imagine that for someone who actually likes chicken, tillapia, shrimp, lobster, etc, and who can still lose with beef...that it would be a delightful menu. As it is, with just the chicken and tillapia I have been able to keep it pretty interesting, though with 24 days remaining, 26 with the two clearing hcg from the system, I am feeling even these dishes will become a bit weary. I'll keep you posted!

11 pounds in 12 days

2009-10-20T12:43:00.000-07:00

Today is VLCD# 12, and this morning's weigh in gave me another 1.4 lb loss, after a few days of stalling again. I am quite happy with the results, and the inch loss, but still feeling a bit baffled by the hanging numbers/drops. I think most people tend to lose at a more steady pace, but it seems my body is a bit different in that regard, lol. It is good to keep my eye on the big picture and realize that all is well, even when the required morning weigh in is deceptive (as a biology student I recognize that a complex dance of fat loss, toxin release, water retention and release, and other rebalancing factors are at play here...but I still get the emotional attachment to instant outcome gratification, even when my head knows better.)

I'll be back soon! I'm keeping it short because my final paper for my shortened 8 wk online class is due today, and that means I'll have a bit more free time for the remainder of the semester...WOO HOO!

Seven and Nine

2009-10-19T07:32:00.000-07:00

Before I begin, I want to tell you that my friend and i went shopping last week, a few days into our program, and I purchased a beautiful sweater in a size medium. I did so despite the fact that when I tried it on it was very tight, but I could tell the shape and color would be very complimentary eventually. I normally wear XL or L, depending on the cut. Then, only four days later, I felt that I had begun to shift in the inches department...so I tried it on fully expecting it would still be tight and unattractive. I was wrong! It was smooth and lovely on me, and though still snug, it looked fabulous ;-) I am thrilled to be re-shaping so nicely! OK, on to the details...

Today is VLCD # 11. I have been doing the mini-stall thing again this week, with my last three weigh ins being a gain of .6 lbs, a gain of .2 lbs, and a loss of .4 lbs. Leaving me in basically the same weight loss category as last check in (209.8...a total of nearly ten lbs gone in 10 days, so still impressive.) However, we measured on Friday, and I have lost an amazing 7.25 inches thus far!!! Seven inches gone!

My anonymous friend has had a steady loss of nearly a pound each day, and has, so far, lost 9 inches! Woo HOO! She is also officially in ONEderland, having reached 198.6 lbs today :) Nearly 11 lbs in 10 days *happy dance!!!*

Once again, I am still registering heavy ketosis, I can feel my body changing dramatically, but I am not seeing the numbers on the scale drop as quickly as I would like. Stay tuned!

I am eliminating splenda for a couple of days, and making certain I have adequate water intake. I will also start a more detailed journal of my activities to see if there is something I may be missing which is causing the stall on the scale. Honestly, I suspect I will have another big drop (2 to 4 lbs) soon...like I did the last week when this same pattern was unfolding.

Happy Monday everyone!

Supplies and Inspiration Links

2009-10-15T11:10:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd share my supply and inspiration links:

ESSENTIAL reading for those considering the protocol or who have questions: Dr Simeon's "Pounds and Inches" which explains the protocol:
http://www.hcginfoonline.com/ORIGINAL_Dr_Simeons_Pounds_and_Inches.htm

Some current hCG research:
http://www.hcgobesity.org/

For the hCG itself:
http://www.alldaychemist.com/

Note: hCG can be mixed for oral subligual use rather than the injections I chose. It is also availble in homeopathic drops or spray, which do actually contain hCG but seem to be nearly as effective. There are also clinics available, at a much higher cost, if you feel daunted by the idea of doing this yourself!

For the injection supplies:
http://www.researchsupply.net/

NOTE: there are other suppliers for the hcg and supplies, these were the ones I chose based on good pricing.

An incredible group of people using hCG, in its oral, injection, and homeopathic forms:
http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/index.html NOTE: search for hCG in the bulletin boards and the group will come up. It is a high volume thread, new each month, so between the current month and past archives you can read to your heart's content and see real results.

Another great group for information and support:
http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/index.html

And finally, I highly recommend searching YouTube for "hcg diet," "dr. simeon's protocol," etc...there are many vlogs and informational videos from a wide variety of people using hcg. Read with discretion of course! My favorite you tubers: mamaclok and delmem

Enjoy!

VLCD # 7: Nearly 8 lbs GONE!

2009-10-15T09:37:00.000-07:00

Today's weigh in brought me down to 211.2...a total of 7.8 lbs WOO HOO! The great news is that my clothes are already feeling loose, especially the pants ;-) My protocol buddy has lost exactly 8lbs so far, most of that early on since this is her TOM. I can't wait to see what next week brings!

No hunger issues for the last several days. Injections going smoothly. No side effects I can note. So far, so good!

Easy Breezy

2009-10-13T20:54:00.000-07:00

Today is VLCD # 5. I actually gained .2 lbs today, and my friend gained 2 lbs. Strangely enough, we are both really OK with it. She is experiencing TOM and though we are being aware of what is going on in our diet and lifestyle (she tried some oil free lotion yesterday, for example,) we feel like we are being very intentional and all will balance out in the end. Also, my keto sticks are still showing that I am in ketosis, so I feel confident all is well.

On the extreme upside, I am no longer feeling more than mild hunger, and only that at mealtimes ;-) Yea! The shots are going smoothly, the diet is simple, clean, and so far delicious. I have lost over five lbs in 4 days. SO...I am shiny and will be glad to let you know how weigh in goes tomorrow. I am really psyched to do measurements again on Friday!

We're MELTING!!!

2009-10-11T19:46:00.000-07:00

VLCD 3

Ok, today's weigh in was -.2 lb (4.2 lbs total) for me, -3 lbs (6lbs total) for my buddy. A little less than I had hoped for myself, but I am feeling the shift in my body and down is good by any degree, lol. I am also using a keto-stip to test for ketones in my urine, which indicate the body is burning fat. I am solidly in ketosis, so I am looking forward to both a more dramatic loss tomorrow, and a good showing of inch loss on Friday!

My issue today has been increased hunger. Luckily, my partner in protocol is not experiencing the same issues. My sources tell me this will pass soon, and if not there are adjustments which will need to be made (more protein or high iu's of hcg.) I'll definitely keep you posted! Honestly, I think my metabolism has been down so long it is just jumping back in the swing of things.

Thus far, no temptation has been enough to even coming close to swaying me, even though I have been around odious amounts of social eating every single day. Friday was a party with homemade cookies, Saturday was the VW lover's Halloween gather with tons of food and alcohol, and today was the big Chili cook-off at church. I just keep telling myself there is plenty of time to indulge later, and feeling fit and healthy makes it all worthwhile!

I am proud of myself (and my wonderful friend.) We're MELTING!

4 lbs!

2009-10-10T13:11:00.000-07:00

My VLCD 2 weigh in was a shocking 4 lb loss! WOO HOO! That puts me a solid lb under my pre-loading weight ;-)

I am enjoying that floating on air feeling for day 2, and though I do not expect quite such dramatic results every day...it is nice to begin with a bang. I became quite hungry by 2:30 this afternoon, while attempting to wait for my protocol buddy, who was planning to lunch with me today. I finally gave up and enjoyed a yummy spinach and chicken soup, along with my melba. I had my apple earlier for mid-morning snack. I am planning to bake my apple this evening with cinnamon and stevia to add a dessert like touch to my lemon pepper tilapia salad dinner ;-)

I did experience stinging with my shot this morning...perhaps because I was so giddy and impatient after my morning weigh in, lol.

My silent partner ALSO lost enough to put her below her pre-load day weight, coming in at 3 lbs lost. I will be posting her stats and pics along with mine, but leaving her information private at her request. SO, you get to see the results in double time, lol.

Day 3, VLCD #1

2009-10-09T22:13:00.000-07:00

Here I am, closing out day three of injections, but my first day of the restricted calorie diet. I have to say I spent the greater part of the day with absolutely no hunger. I ate lunch a bit late, and had dinner around 5:30. I reserved my grapefruit for around 7pm. I was feeling hungry for the first time all day by 8 pm and demolished that feeling with a cup of coffee minus the cream.

If I had been wiser I would have gone to bed early, lol. Now it is after midnight (because I went to see a movie: The Hangover, definitely worth it) and I am finishing my last 20 oz of water. I am mildly hungry again, but honestly, I am OK with that. If I had been in bed by 11, as planned, I would be blissfully unaware of craving food just because my teenage son is eating it in front of me.

So, yes...day 3: success. I'll let you know how weigh in goes tomorrow ;-) I'll also try to post my original measurements, in preparation for my week 1 weigh, measure, and pics.

It All Begins: Loading Days!

2009-10-08T13:03:00.000-07:00

I took my first injection of hcg yesterday morning and began my first official load day. I was AMAZED at how easy the injection was and how little pain was involved (I have been queasy at the thought of injections from the get-go...I hate needles.)

Yesterday (my first load day) was a truly miserable experience, lol. I am doing this in tandem with a close friend, so she stopped by to do injections together and we celebrated by going to IHOP and beginning our load with a bang. I swear, the hcg was already affecting me within that first hour! I had to force down my breakfast (3 eggs, 4 slices of bacon, and a pumpkin pancake with lots of real butter and butter pecan syrup.) I then came home and ate every couple of hours (avocado, cream cheese, coconut oil, sharp cheddar, cheeseburger patty, cheesecake filling.) Evey time I put something in, it was forced. I then went to Logan's steakhouse for dinner, and enjoyed a juicy steak, sauteed mushrooms, 1/2 sweet potato with loads of butter and cinnamon. I though I might really die. I walked out SO full, lol. Valiantly, I was able to finish out the night with five strips of bacon and a slice of cheesecake. I only got in about 70 oz of water. I am also savoring every cup of creamy coffee I can, since that may be my one tragic loss for the remainder of protocol.

Despite all that, I still woke with a .4 lb loss today. I hope the load shows up better tomorrow! I am off and running with a similar day today, only no carb rich foods (I HAD to have my pumpkin pancake yesterday, lol. They only come once a year !)

SO begins my journey. Thanks for reading!

Basics: What the Protocol looks like

2009-10-08T12:46:00.001-07:00

The protocol, based on Dr Simeon's "Pounds and Inches" is based on using the hormone hcg, in conjunction with a very low calorie diet or VLCD, to assist people in losing fat from their abnormal fat stores (as opposed to losing a combination of fat, muscle, structural or normal fat, and other healthy tissue.) Normally present in pregnant women, hcg is a natural sunstance that is not dangerous for women OR men. The protocol has been around for many years, faced some controversy, and still has a healthy run of supporters and nay-sayers. I am not here to do battle with these ideas. I am here because I have done the research and am aware of numerous people, both in my personal life and through online forums, who have had/are having enormous success.

The program requires daily injections of the hormone hcg (availble by prescription or, as I did by purchasing from overseas.) For the first two days of injections, eating high fat foods is required: aka load days. After that, a very specific food plan is laid out which will be followed for the remainder of the protocol, and for two days afterward as the hcg leaves your system. After limited number of injection days (23 to 40...I am planning to do 40,) there is a stabilization period, which I will describe in more detail later, that allows you to return to a richer food menu while your body balances the rapid weight lost during the injections. You may then choose to do another round. Typical wieght loss PER DAY on the protocol is between .5 and 3 lbs a day.

Official "Before" Pics

2009-10-08T12:34:00.000-07:00

These were taken the night before my first injection. My official starting weight: 219 lbs. There are also more scantily clad ones, lol, but I'll save you the pain until there are some good differences for you to note.

A Brief History of My Weight Loss Journey

2009-09-27T21:47:00.000-07:00

I want to start by saying that I have an amazing, magical life. I am surrounded by wonderful people. I have transformed my life continually...coming from extreme poverty, drug and alcohol infused family life, physical and sexual abuse, and pretty incredible odds to become a healthy, happy woman. It has been a journey filled with joy and despair and pretty much every challenge I can imagine facing. I may allow my story to unfold for you some day. But for now I am here to talk about one particular aspect of my story, a part that I have yet to transform...my struggle with weight.

Now, I have been working on this problem for 16 years, and suddenly I find myself in a unique place...I feel confident that I have found the solution, but I am waiting for the materials to arrive so I can begin. I have never felt so certain of something for which I have no personal evidence. Do you want to know what it is? Good. I would LOVE to have you along for my journey! No, I am NOT selling anything. I have no purpose for blogging here other than the desire to keep myself accountable and perhaps help others discover a new inspiration to dig deeper into their own success.

First: I am not new to the idea of weight loss, nutrition or fitness. I have been looking for a solution, researching and in some cases attempting various diets, exercise programs, lifestyle changes, and healing modalities related to the topic. I have worked the low calorie and low carb programs. I have worked out consistently( and still do,) doing both cardio and resistance training (tweaking and shifting every variable I could imagine.) I have read a library of books. I have tried supplements, shakes, and cleanses. I have worked on emotional healing, energetic healing, and homeopathic balancing. I do not have a food addiction (these days I eat a balanced diet with very few processed foods.) Yet, I remain between 80 and 100 lbs overweight, carrying 220 lbs on my five foot frame...year, after year.

SO. Why now? Why do I suddenly feel I have the solution? I have no idea. The research is sound: Dr Simeon's protocol has been in use for decades. The science is fascinating (I am a biology major, in my senior year.) The evidence, for others, seems impeccable. But the real reason I am here, is that sometime during my second reading of "Pounds and Inches" I began to become excited in a way I have NEVER been; became certain that I was reading about myself, my future, my path out of this dark battle with my weight, my self esteem, my well meaning family and friends, and my physical limitations.

What is my plan? Follow the protocol as laid out by Dr. Simeon in the aforementioned text (available for free online, simply google "Pounds and Inches.") If you have any interest in this program, I cannot stress to you the importance of reading (and perhaps re-reading) this book. There are plenty of online resources, which I will gladly share with you in the coming blogs. The basics: daily hcg injections. A specific and very precise diet. An intentional commitment to conscious living.

My hcg and supplies are in the mail. As I await them, I will lay out the plan specifics and resources, as well as giving you my before pics. See you tomorrow!

My Beatiful but Overweight Self: Current Pics

2009-09-27T19:58:00.000-07:00

These are a few of my current pictures. Official "Before pics" coming soon!
All of these are this year: while working out and eating a moderate diet. Size 18 and weighing 220 lbs.